In the scheme of things, the news of late is probably really nothing new. Death and suffering pay the bills for the world's media leeches, and so therefore death and suffering is usually the only thing they have pictures of on their metaphorical restaurant menu.
One cannot deny though that the world news has recently been a bit more than "odd". In fact it's downright, "the shit that end-times prophecies are made of".
What started with 5,000 dead red-wing birds in Arkansas on New Years day (eerily enough), continued with dead birds dropping in several other parts of the US, and most recently, in California (this is still happening as we speak).
Then came the rest world. Reports have come in now of random bird deaths in Sweden, Britain, Japan, Thailand, Brazil, and more recently in Italy.
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| "Whatta de' hell?" |
Add to this the accompanying unexplainable deaths of fish all over the globe, and you have the perfect preface to a Biblical prophecy of doom---or a really bad-ass post-apocalyptic movie (depending on how optimistic you choose to be).
Then there's that business of an "instant tsunami" hitting Australia yesterday and wrecking their shit real good by submerging a large city underwater. I don't know what the fuck an "instant tsunami" really is, but it's safe to say it isn't a commonplace thing, and it didn't sound like it was very friendly, either.
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| "In a goddamn jar!" |
And if all of this weren't enough, we have news in today about the Hubble Telescope discovering a "mysterious giant green blob in outer space that is strangely alive".
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| "Ennnterpriiiise....." |
This thing was first discovered by a Dutch school teacher, not by the idiots we're paying billions of dollars to annually to be on the lookout for this type of thing. Apparently parts of this green blob are collapsing and somehow "creating stars" as a result.
Sounds fan-fucking-tastic...and in no way threatening.
So like the title says, I'm officially placing a wanted-ad today:
WANTED: Loyal dog & shoulder-pads
I'll be seeing you on the deserted highways of No Man's Land soon my friends...
