Ever had one of those days where nothing goes right? Your alarm clock doesn't go off for whatever mystical reason. Your coffee-maker goes out on you. You have a blow-out on the way to work. An ethnic co-worker catches you telling racist jokes to fellow employees. That fat girl from the bar 3 months ago finally tracks you down to tell you she's pregnant. You find out that fat girl's kid is definitely yours. You come home after work to a fat wife. Fat wife never has dinner ready yet somehow she's still fat. Fat wife leaves massive shits in the toilet without flushing, but considering there's never any dinner prepared, what could she possibly be shitting?
Even worse---ever had one of those weeks?
How about a fucking year of it?
For me, 2010 was the worst year I can recall. It was one really long Monday, in which everyday I arrived home late from a horrible job to find that metaphorical fat wife sitting on the couch watching Tivo'd soap operas with no dinner to speak of.
No. Even worse. I arrive home after being fired from said job, to find the Direct TV guy fucking said fat wife...on the kitchen table which bears no supper to speak of.
For the first time in a very long time, I am optimistic. Here's to 2011, kids.
May it be everything we've hoped for.
(now go get drunk and fuck a fat girl/future wife)
